You may wonder, \u2018What does that even mean?\u2019 Well, something I learned early on, was that my mom totally loved me, but she had these limitations that kept getting in the way of her mothering me in the way that I needed.<\/p>\n
So as I grew up, & went thru my own personal work, I began to forgive my mom for those limitations. Then I started my own family.<\/p>\n
When I had my daughters, I knew I was going to learn from my mom\u2019s mistakes what NOT to do, cuz\u2019 I didn\u2019t want to repeat them. I was very clear in my mind about what I didn\u2019t want to do\u2026but I wasn\u2019t clear about what TO DO.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t have a role model necessarily, to look at either. I remember thinking, \u201cWell, I have to become my own role model. How do I do that? How do I become the mom I never had?\u201d<\/p>\n
I kept going back to my own inner child, cuz I\u2019d done some of that therapeutic work, & I would ask her for clues. In each & every situation I came to where I didn\u2019t know what to do, except for the old ways that she saw, I would ask her, \u201cRight here, in this situation, what would YOU WANT?\u201d I was dialoguing with her, as if she were another person.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s how I learned to mother my own daughters. I MOTHERED FROM HER WANTS. My little girl knew exactly what she wanted, & when I took the time to slow myself down & listen to her, she had the answers & then I could experiment, use what she taught me with my daughters & watch the results.<\/p>\n
Basically I ended up watching them thrive. I watched them have the kind of childhood that I wish I could\u2019ve had, which sent me, of course, into a whole new cycle of having to grieve for that young part of me that never had it…at the same time as it was healing \u2764\ufe0f\u200d\ud83e\ude79 me.<\/p>\n
Some say \u2018that\u2019s giving from an empty tank\u2019, but I was actually giving from my wants & desires.<\/p>\n
Somehow as long as I let the grief come up & out, it became fuel. It fueled me & it gave me even more motivation as I saw them thrive, to just continue healing myself, thru mothering from my wants.<\/p>\n
These days I honor my daughters as incredible adults, & yet I still mother myself based on my wants & needs.<\/p>\n
I also love doing this coaching work, because this is something I can bring to my clients. There\u2019s so much of the coaching experience that is re-parenting (check out my other blog on that).<\/p>\n
It\u2019s such a joy to help others learn to listen to what that little child inside of them longed for in the past, & give it to themselves now. There\u2019s so much healing in that!<\/p>\n
How does this information affect you? Does it resonate with you? I\u2019d love to hear in the comments below. Also, I know how valuable guidance was\/is on my journey. Please push the ‘make an appointment’ button & ask for a consult, to see if my guidance would support your journey.<\/p>\n
Until next time…embody your potential!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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