You may wonder, ‘What does that even mean?’ Well, something I learned early on, was that my mom totally loved me, but she had these limitations that kept getting in the way of her mothering me in the way that I needed.
So as I grew up, & went thru my own personal work, I began to forgive my mom for those limitations. Then I started my own family.
When I had my daughters, I knew I was going to learn from my mom’s mistakes what NOT to do, cuz’ I didn’t want to repeat them. I was very clear in my mind about what I didn’t want to do…but I wasn’t clear about what TO DO.
I didn’t have a role model necessarily, to look at either. I remember thinking, “Well, I have to become my own role model. How do I do that? How do I become the mom I never had?”
I kept going back to my own inner child, cuz I’d done some of that therapeutic work, & I would ask her for clues. In each & every situation I came to where I didn’t know what to do, except for the old ways that she saw, I would ask her, “Right here, in this situation, what would YOU WANT?” I was dialoguing with her, as if she were another person.
That’s how I learned to mother my own daughters. I MOTHERED FROM HER WANTS. My little girl knew exactly what she wanted, & when I took the time to slow myself down & listen to her, she had the answers & then I could experiment, use what she taught me with my daughters & watch the results.
Basically I ended up watching them thrive. I watched them have the kind of childhood that I wish I could’ve had, which sent me, of course, into a whole new cycle of having to grieve for that young part of me that never had it…at the same time as it was healing ❤️🩹 me.
Some say ‘that’s giving from an empty tank’, but I was actually giving from my wants & desires.
Somehow as long as I let the grief come up & out, it became fuel. It fueled me & it gave me even more motivation as I saw them thrive, to just continue healing myself, thru mothering from my wants.
These days I honor my daughters as incredible adults, & yet I still mother myself based on my wants & needs.
I also love doing this coaching work, because this is something I can bring to my clients. There’s so much of the coaching experience that is re-parenting (check out my other blog on that).
It’s such a joy to help others learn to listen to what that little child inside of them longed for in the past, & give it to themselves now. There’s so much healing in that!
How does this information affect you? Does it resonate with you? I’d love to hear in the comments below. Also, I know how valuable guidance was/is on my journey. Please push the ‘make an appointment’ button & ask for a consult, to see if my guidance would support your journey.
Until next time…embody your potential!